Killer PJs are back (Please weak hearted people stay away)

Killer PJs are back (Please weak hearted people stay away)

Using ur brain is strictly prohibited.

Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre :p

IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aaraha hain,
IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aaraha hain,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hain :p

Hollywood ka hero hain TOM CRUZ,
Hollywood ka hero hain TOM CRUZ,
Pudhil Station Santa cruz...Agla Station Santa cruz..Next Station Santacruz :D:D;)

Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan,
Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera mehmaan
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman.

Manchester United mein khelta hain ROONEY
Manchester United mein khelta hain ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni"

Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber

Poor Jokes Collection

A boxer’s wife is woken up by some weird noises coming from the living room. She wakes her husband up and tells him: 
“Rocky! Wake up! I think somebody’s in the living room for a private boxing lesson!” 

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“I’d like some vitamins for children, please.” 
“What kind of vitamins? Is it A, B or C?” 
“It doesn’t really matter! They haven’t learned how to read yet!” 

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A newspaper boy keeps shouting on the street: 
“Big scam! Big scam! 12 Victims!” 
A man decides to buy the newspaper and while browsing it he discovers there is nothing inside it about a scam.
The boy keeps shouting even louder now: 
“Big scam! Big scam! 13 victims!” 


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Finding out that the Summer Olympics are closing in and there’s no glory like winning gold medals, Jerry applies to get in the Olympic team of his 
country, promising he’ll bring home 7 gold medals. His application was approved, and in the second day Jerry managed indeed to get the 7 gold medals he wanted. He was apprehended later that day. 

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Two old friends meet: 
“Garry, what’s your job now?” 
“I mimic termites.” 
“How so?” 
“I have to drill holes in the wood for a furniture factory” 

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Deep breaths kill the germs. The question is how to you get them to breathe in deep? 

What is the absolute inconvenient? It is born out of the association between will and diligence. 

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“Doc, I’ve got memory problems” 
“How did you notice that?” 
“ Notice what...?” 

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The teacher asks children at school what are they eating. When she asks Jerry, he answers: 
“Tea” 
“Only tea?”, asks the teacher 
“Yes” 
“Jerry, tomorrow the principle will come to talk with all of you. I want you to tell him you eat meat ok?” 
“ok!” 
The next day came, and the principal asked Jerry the same question. The child answered: 
“Meat!” 
“All day?” 
“Yes!” 
“And how much meat do you eat in one day?” 
“Usually about three cups.” 

Poor jokes extreme torture

Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases. How?


Think...........try it 


Yes you can................


No??? Cmon..


Can't answer..........scroll down



.. scroll...




A - The other 9 fish are crying.................


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Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down from the wall !!!. WHY ???


scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . .
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not getting, very simple yaar.. 
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coz, they all started clapping !!!!

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Ek Aur PJ Isse kehte hain.........

Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.Lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai.so he goes to the canteen.canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa
raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai???

guess

scroll down for the answer
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The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon. 

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....


Don't scratch ur head, this is a song from the film "Dil Se" - Jinke sar
ko ishq ki chaon paon ke neeche jannat hogi; chaiyya chaiyya song 


One More

What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
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is..........
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HASINA ! (Hasi Naa)



Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"




Whatz a (P + i J)?





- A "complex poor joke" 


Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

- scroll down for answer.......








- more boss....












Bcoz the joke part of it is 
imaginary.
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Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?






Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER.......using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette 



Another deadly answer. scroll down a little








Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette 


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down









Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee." 

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
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A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer. 
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?






Answer is ?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
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Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want to get married, but cannot.Why?







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Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal 

Another list of Poor jokes that will make you scratch your head

Ek aadmi bank se bahar aake ek auto mein chada....autowala usko
us k ghar le gaya aur 100 rs liya. actually, it wouldn't have
costed more than 10 rs. Agle din, subah jab woh aadmi jagaa, he
was not able to see anything.kuch bhi nahin dikh raha tha But then,
raat hote hi, uski aankh theekh ho gayi and he was able to see everything
clearly.
WHY?
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Kyonki autowaale ne us aadmi ko ULLOO bana diya tha!!!



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Ek Gadha ped par chadha to oopar baithe haathi ne poochha:



Haathi: Tu kyun chadha ?



Gadha: Apple khaane



Haathi: Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!
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Gadha: Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!!

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Champu and Pampu are 2 elephant friends. Champu is in love with

Champi, > > the elephant beauty queen. Champu proposes to Champi and

she
rejects him for some other rich elephant across the river. Champu
is
very sad,

so Pampu consoles Champu and asks him to play see- saw at the
garden.

Suddenly the see- saw breaks... and they burst to a
song................... guess which one............................

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See- Saw ho ya dil ho.... aakhirrrrrr...toot jaata hai....toot
jaata hai...toot jaata hai....!!!!!


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The Maratha Regiment was fighting hard on the border against
the enemies....They had to cross the border to capture the enemy
base....but no one was able to cross the border and go across.
fearing death .
Just then Hawaldar Pawan Kumar Jhonke ...got up and crossed the
border.....and nothing happened to him ..why??
Kyon ki
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Panchi Nadiya PAWAN K JHONKE... Koi Sarhad na Inhe roke...(from Refugee)


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A man is speeding in his Ferrari on the highway.......suddenly
a hare hops up from nowhere, onto the road. unable to dodge it he
runs right o v er it............overcome by concern he stops his car to
inspect the hare..........the hare is dead. being an animal lover ,our
Ferrari driver tries to bring back the hare to life........he
frantically searches the dicky of his car and finds a spray- can
there.......he
sprays the dead animal with it...suddenly the hare springs back to
life........it runs along the road....looks back and waves at the
man....then again runs along some distance ,looks back and waves at
him.....and then
again runs further,looks back and waves...
the man looks at the can and reads these words...
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'HAIR SPRAY. BRINGS LIFE TO DEAD HAIR.INCREASES WAVINESS.'



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A friend gives a barrel full of FEVICOL to his friend on his birthday.
What does this friend who receive the gift sing ???
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Dushman na kare dost ne ye kaam kiya hai
Umra bhar ka gham (gum) hame inaam diya hai........

Another set of roflmao jokes

Tiger Kills Goat.
Hipopotamus Sees It. Tiger Asks Hipo Not To Tell This In Court.
But Hippo Refuses.
Tiger :- Why So?
Hippo Said, BCOZ HIPS DONT LIE!



whats the name of the girl who is small n has small heart????

asha.......confused?
dil hai chotasa,...chotisi asha!!!!


Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.



Khargosh ke SSC me 75% aur kachue ke 50% marks aaye,
Phir bhi kachue Ka admission college Me ho Gaya.
Kaise?
SPORTS QUOTA..
Bachpan me race nahi jeeti?


US Tourist: Any great man born here?

Santa: No Sir, only babies.


Why does a man with broken heart does not need general knowledge?

=> Coz, jab dil hi tut gaya to jeeke (G.K) kya karega




opposite of real ??


Coconut... coz its na-real


[mumbai pj]
Wht is d Opposite of Jogeshwari?










Jogesh Dnt Wry!! :-)

Nw Tel,
Wht is d Opp. of Churchgate?









Eros Theater!!

More deadly PJs

1) Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married 
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .... why ???
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because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)








2) Ek nadi thi...... 


uske upar ek pull bana hua tha..... 


pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi...... 


sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi..... 


Guess who was the lucky guy?????? 


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Keep Guessing...... 


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Chalo yaar....the answer is 




































"KISNA" 


Jo hai albela mad naino wala... 


jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala..... 


woh kisna hai 


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3) if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean?????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????? 














? 








































? 






















? 














it means that the Cat is also going somewhere 


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4) rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........................................ 






sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????????????? 






rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do 






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5) BRUCE LEE was a great man 












But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man... 














why? 














Because he became 






MAMU LEE! 






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6) santa and banta r discussing--------- 


santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!" 


Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee." 






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7) One day Ravan went to a disco.......................... 






aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya.................... 


















kyun??????????????????? 


















kyun?????????????? 






















bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head" 






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8) who make Ganesh to Anesh...???? 














ThinK...... 


















Think...... 
























okay.... 






" KAILASH KHER " 










tere naam se " G " loon.... 






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9) Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To 


naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai. 


Kyon?????? 












Think............ 














Give up?? 
















Coz... 


"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango."

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 6 Find the Meaning

Colourful

What is the meaning of the following?

ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbbaaabababbbbaaababababbbababbababababababaaaab....
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Ans. Long Time No 'C' (See)

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 5 Branch Manager

Branch Manager


Chote Oye Paplu…idhar aana…
Bade Abe paplu tu tera baap…
Chote Acha chal ek baat sun…
Bade Nahi suna hain…pele sorry bol…
Chote Acha sorry ab suna…
Bade Kya hain bol…
Chote Ek admi apni family ke saath ja raha tha…usko ek phone ata hain…aur wo achanak jhad pe jaake baith jata hain…Kyun..?
Bade Jhad pe jaake baith jata hain…Kya pata…?
Chote Jara soch…kyun?
Bade
Nahi pata…yaar tu hi bata…?

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Chote Usko company waley branch Manager bana detey hain…
Bade Bakwas Bandkar.

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 4 Churchgate

Churchgate


Chote Kya haal hain…
Bade Pehele acha tha ab bura hain…
Chote Kya baat kar raha hain…sach main…
Bade Bhounk…
Chote Acha tujhe wo Naag-punchme kaa opposite pata hain…
Bade Bohot purana joke hain…Naag-don’t punchme…
Chote Hhhmmm…kaafi smart ho gaya hain…chal Churchgate ka opposite bata chal..
Bade Churchgate kaa…churchgate kaa koi opposite nahi hain
Chote Churchgate kaa opposite nahi hain…?
Bade No…
Chote Sochley
Bade
Nahi hain…

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Chote Eros theater hain…
Bade Bakwas Bandkar…

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 3 G.K.

G.K.


Chote Chotey ye le badam khaa…
Bade Badam kyun… kya hua tujhe achanak…
Chote Lena isse general knowledge badta hain…
Bade acha…thnkx
Chote Acha tujhe pata hain…
Bade Please yaar…
Chote Aree sunto….
Bade Hhhhmmmm…
Chote Ek admi hain uska dil toot gaya hain…ab usko G.K ki zarurat nahi hain kyun…
Bade
Kya baat kar raha hain…kyun?

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Chote Tune wo gana nahi sona….”jab dil hi toth gaya hum G.K kya karengey”
Bade Bakwas Bandkar.

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 2 Prime Minister

Prime Minister  

Chote Abe tu kal kya kar raha hain…

Bade Kal main busy hoon

Chote Kyun kahin jaa raha hain kya?

Bade Haan kal subah P.M. ke saath meeting hain..

Chote P.M. ke sath?

Bade Haan

Chote Subah subah?

Bade Haan kyun?

Chote Subah mil hi nahi sakye who.

Bade

Kyun?

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Chote Abe woh P.M. hain shaam ko miley ge… A.M. hota to subah milta na..

Bade Bakwas Band kar..

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes) part 1 soup

Soup


Chote Haan bhae Bade.. yeh le tera soup
Bade Abey yeh koi soup hai??
Chote Kiyun kya hua?
Bade Kitna ganda soup hai yeh.
Chote Kya hua iss mei?
Bade Abey iss mei makhi doob rahi hai.
Chote Makhi doob rahi hai to mein kya karoon?
Bade
Abey tu nahi karega to aur kaun karega?

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Chote Abey ab mein soup banaon.. ya makhi ko swimming sikhaon? tu bata..
Bade Bakwaas Band Karrrrr

List of Deadly PJs (Poor Jokes)

Mobile Kharab


Chote Abey sunn na
Bade Abey jaa na
Chote Please sun na yaar
Bade Please jaa na yaar
Chote Acha dentist ke paas chal raha hai?
Bade Dentist ke paas? Kiyun tere daant mei germs hogaye hain kya?
Chote Nahi yaar, mera mobile phone kharaab hogaya hai.
Bade Abey kya faaltu baat kar raha hai yaar tu.
Chote Kya hua !
Bade Mobile kharab hota hai to koi dentist ka paas jaata hai kya?
Chote Kiyunnn?
Bade
Abey, tera mobile kharab hogaya to mobile repair shop per ja.. dentist kya karega iss mei?

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Chote Abey mere mobile ka "BLUE TOOTH" kharaab hogaya hai yaar ... HAHAHAHA
Bade Bakwaaas Band Karrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Insanely deadly poor jokes

i’ll write a book an pjs and dedicate it to whom? our president….why
scroll down for answer
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coz he is mr. a.P.J.abdul kalam
 
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what is the vector form of sridevi???? JJJJ
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(u must have studied vector algebra to know its answer)

ANS : – TABU!!!!
confused???? why????
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ok i’l tell you…
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. sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!


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What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to
call him up…?
:…
:…
:…
:…
:

:
:…

:…
:
:
Ring De Basanti )
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A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contageous deadly
disease….
As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the
doctor… how??
scroll
…Because the patient had a bluetooth!!


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three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started
singing the song — AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE.
Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died……any idea why?????
COZ the song is HIT…




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Once in MIT, there was an Indian student.
He was very briliant, and his General Knowledge (GK) was excellent.
He won every Quiz in the institute .... Once he fell in love with a
Phirang i girl...
He proposed the girl, but She straight way rejected him ... calling him
Bloody Desi...
So after this, his GK fell drastically, and he stopped taking part in Quiz
and all.....
Now, u tell me the reason ... WHY ???
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becoz,

Jab Dil hee toot gaya....
toh GK kya karenge ...

Hindi Poor Jokes

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

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1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan Le!

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Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad
Theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

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Teacher to class: " A for?"
Class: "Apple !!!!"

Teacher: " JOR SE BOLO"
Class: "JAI MATA DI !!!!!!!"
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Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

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Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

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Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+

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Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.

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Sachin’s Daughter: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Sachin’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

SUPERB poor jokes

Father's Pride

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.

The first guy says: “I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics, Business Administration, and was promoted, began to climb the corporate ladder, becoming the General Manager, and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second guy says: “Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third guy says: “Well, well, well congratulations! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some very nice and expensive thing to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq. ft. mansion especially for his friend.”

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of their sons. The fourth friend who earlier had gone to rest room returned and asked: “What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?” One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?”

The fourth man replied: “My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends said: “What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel.”

The fourth man replied: “No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. In addition, he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq. ft. mansion, a brand new jet, and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends?”

Who's Phone is This?

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"



Engineer and manager

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."



Monastery Joke

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words.

"Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words.

He clears his throats and says, "Bad food."

They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words.

"I quit," he says.

"That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

Not So Dumb Blond

Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the guy turned to the beautiful blonde and made his move by saying, “Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don't know,” said the player. “How about nuclear power?”

“OK,” said the blonde. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

“Oh brother,” said the guy. “I have no idea.”

“Well, then,” said the blond, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?”




The Perfect Man and Woman

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.

After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?



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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling...


















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

AND MY FAVOURITE -

Two Naughty Boys

A couple had two naughty little boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would have had something to do with it.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"!!!!!