Showing posts with label deadly poor jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deadly poor jokes. Show all posts
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
She is on HEAT, saddest joke ever heard
A little girl asks her mum, “Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Her mum replies “No, because she is on heat.”
“What does that mean?” asked the child.
“Go and ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, “Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.”
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said “Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Lulu?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is PUSHING her home!!!”
Her mum replies “No, because she is on heat.”
“What does that mean?” asked the child.
“Go and ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, “Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.”
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said “Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Lulu?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is PUSHING her home!!!”
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Deadly PJ's
Aaj
Raat
Theek
12
Baje
ke
baad
1
bejega!!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi? ?
Socho socho
? ? ? ? ? ? ? aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the opposite of Real??
Its COCONUT....
kya hua....
Confused??
jara ....Socho...yaar ???
opposite of real is 'Na-Real' .
in English it is coconut
-----------------------------------------------------------
A sardar was seated on the bench looking very sad.
Me: "Whats the matter, Sardarji?"
Sardarji: "I lent Rs. 5 lakh to a friend for plastic surgery.
Now I dont know how he looks!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?
Ans: If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Aishwarya is sipping her coke n ant falls into that !!!
ant's father said somethin and aishwarya fainted !!!!!
usne aissa kya bola!!!!!!! . . . . . . .
socho socho . . . . . . .
" Teri coke main mera beta hai!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette another deadly answer. scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP) "TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mad dog is chasing a sardar.
The sardar laughs while running.
Bolo kyun??
bolo bolo??
nahin pata?.. chalo.. lets ask him...
He says mera to Airtel hai phir bhi Hutch ka network follow kar raha hai!!!
Raat
Theek
12
Baje
ke
baad
1
bejega!!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi? ?
Socho socho
? ? ? ? ? ? ? aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the opposite of Real??
Its COCONUT....
kya hua....
Confused??
jara ....Socho...yaar ???
opposite of real is 'Na-Real' .
in English it is coconut
-----------------------------------------------------------
A sardar was seated on the bench looking very sad.
Me: "Whats the matter, Sardarji?"
Sardarji: "I lent Rs. 5 lakh to a friend for plastic surgery.
Now I dont know how he looks!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?
Ans: If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Aishwarya is sipping her coke n ant falls into that !!!
ant's father said somethin and aishwarya fainted !!!!!
usne aissa kya bola!!!!!!! . . . . . . .
socho socho . . . . . . .
" Teri coke main mera beta hai!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette another deadly answer. scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP) "TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mad dog is chasing a sardar.
The sardar laughs while running.
Bolo kyun??
bolo bolo??
nahin pata?.. chalo.. lets ask him...
He says mera to Airtel hai phir bhi Hutch ka network follow kar raha hai!!!
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