funny questions and funny answers

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?   
It was stuck to the leg of a chicken !!!


Q: What gets bigger the more you take away?
A: A hole!


Why did the rooster cross the road?       
To prove he wasn't chicken !!


What gets wet the more you dry? 
 A towel  !!


Why did the chicken cross the road?    
To show the raccoon it could be done !!

What did one volcano say to the other? 
 Do you lava me like I lava you?

Question: What has 4 wheels and flies?
Ans: garbage truck!

Can you answer this ?
 If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

 Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week? 
 They only work on wick-ends!

Why did the chicken cross the road?   
To get to the other side !!!!
Why did the turtle cross the road?                
To get to the Shell Station!!!

(Q) Why do gorillas have big nostrils?


(A) Because they have big fingers

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?  
You bump your nose on the ceiling !!

doctor, doctor I keep on lying.
 That's not true!

What did the sea say to the sand? 
 Nothing, it just waved!

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?  
Because you need a ladder to get in !!

What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? 
 Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!

Question: What is greater than god?
What is more evil than the devil?
The poor has it,
The rich need it,
if you eat it you will die.
What is it?
Answer: Nothing

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.
Q: What is a little dog's favorite drink?
A: Pupsi-cola.

Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
A: He's all-right now!

What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
 Coo-kies!

Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam

Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo

Poor jokes extreme torture

Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases. How?


Think...........try it 


Yes you can................


No??? Cmon..


Can't answer..........scroll down



.. scroll...




A - The other 9 fish are crying.................


--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down from the wall !!!. WHY ???


scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . .
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
not getting, very simple yaar.. 
-
-
-
-
-

coz, they all started clapping !!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek Aur PJ Isse kehte hain.........

Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.Lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai.so he goes to the canteen.canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa
raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai???

guess

scroll down for the answer
-
-
-
- .

The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon. 

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....


Don't scratch ur head, this is a song from the film "Dil Se" - Jinke sar
ko ishq ki chaon paon ke neeche jannat hogi; chaiyya chaiyya song 


One More

What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
- ...and the Answer
is..........
-
-
-
-
-
-
Scroll down.
-
-
-
-
-
-Just One Scroll .
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
HASINA ! (Hasi Naa)



Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"




Whatz a (P + i J)?





- A "complex poor joke" 


Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

- scroll down for answer.......








- more boss....












Bcoz the joke part of it is 
imaginary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?






Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER.......using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette 



Another deadly answer. scroll down a little








Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette 


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down









Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee." 

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer. 
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?






Answer is ?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
*****************************-************************* 
Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want to get married, but cannot.Why?







;;;;;;;;;;;





Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal 

Another list of Poor jokes that will make you scratch your head

Ek aadmi bank se bahar aake ek auto mein chada....autowala usko
us k ghar le gaya aur 100 rs liya. actually, it wouldn't have
costed more than 10 rs. Agle din, subah jab woh aadmi jagaa, he
was not able to see anything.kuch bhi nahin dikh raha tha But then,
raat hote hi, uski aankh theekh ho gayi and he was able to see everything
clearly.
WHY?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..





Kyonki autowaale ne us aadmi ko ULLOO bana diya tha!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------



Ek Gadha ped par chadha to oopar baithe haathi ne poochha:



Haathi: Tu kyun chadha ?



Gadha: Apple khaane



Haathi: Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..



Gadha: Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------



Champu and Pampu are 2 elephant friends. Champu is in love with

Champi, > > the elephant beauty queen. Champu proposes to Champi and

she
rejects him for some other rich elephant across the river. Champu
is
very sad,

so Pampu consoles Champu and asks him to play see- saw at the
garden.

Suddenly the see- saw breaks... and they burst to a
song................... guess which one............................

..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..



See- Saw ho ya dil ho.... aakhirrrrrr...toot jaata hai....toot
jaata hai...toot jaata hai....!!!!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------

The Maratha Regiment was fighting hard on the border against
the enemies....They had to cross the border to capture the enemy
base....but no one was able to cross the border and go across.
fearing death .
Just then Hawaldar Pawan Kumar Jhonke ...got up and crossed the
border.....and nothing happened to him ..why??
Kyon ki
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..



Panchi Nadiya PAWAN K JHONKE... Koi Sarhad na Inhe roke...(from Refugee)


================================================================================
========================================

A man is speeding in his Ferrari on the highway.......suddenly
a hare hops up from nowhere, onto the road. unable to dodge it he
runs right o v er it............overcome by concern he stops his car to
inspect the hare..........the hare is dead. being an animal lover ,our
Ferrari driver tries to bring back the hare to life........he
frantically searches the dicky of his car and finds a spray- can
there.......he
sprays the dead animal with it...suddenly the hare springs back to
life........it runs along the road....looks back and waves at the
man....then again runs along some distance ,looks back and waves at
him.....and then
again runs further,looks back and waves...
the man looks at the can and reads these words...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'HAIR SPRAY. BRINGS LIFE TO DEAD HAIR.INCREASES WAVINESS.'



------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- -------------------------- ------------------

A friend gives a barrel full of FEVICOL to his friend on his birthday.
What does this friend who receive the gift sing ???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Dushman na kare dost ne ye kaam kiya hai
Umra bhar ka gham (gum) hame inaam diya hai........